Keep Calm and Flutter On, part 7

[no_vampires_plz]

Despite her misgivings, Twilight passed on Fluttershy's invitation to the rest of her pony friends. At six o'clock that evening, she, Spike, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie Pie are all gathered on Fluttershy's front lawn.

"I can't believe we're having a dinner party with Discord," says Rainbow Dash.

"This evening is sure to be a disaster," agrees Rarity. She looks over her rhinestone-trimmed taffeta gown. "Glad I didn't bother wearing my fanciest outfit."

"Fluttershy thinks this is the way to reform Discord, and asked us to give it a chance," Twilight reminds them gently. Here's hoping she doesn't regret this.

...oh, who is she kidding? She knows she's going to regret this.

Comments

[chocolate_reign]

The door is thrown open by Discord himself, currently dressed as a waiter.

"Oh, our pony guests!" he cries before opening his mouth to disgorge an enormous, bright red tongue. The tongue proceeds to rapidly unroll from Discord's jaws spiraling down the path before flopping over one final time to reveal... Discord.

"We're so delighted that you've come." He sighs in a posh voice. "Please, do come in."

[no_vampires_plz]

The assembled ponies (and dragon) look at each other dubiously, but do as they're told.

[needs_fern]

"See what a beautiful job he did helping?" Fluttershy asks them. "Discord set the entire table himself. I'm so proud."

It really is a nice table-setting. Everything looks just like it's supposed to.

[chocolate_reign]

'Setting the table' may be something of an understatement; Fluttershy's cottage has been transformed. The windows and walls all appear to be present and accounted for but... What had been hoofcarved woodwork and warm earth tones has meandered into something of warped angles and strange perspectives, making it hard to gage distance between objects. The walls bend outwards as if made of hot wax, while the garishly colored floor flows across the cottage in little hills and valleys, in some cases in the same place.


"May I take your *ahem* hats, ladies?" asks Discord, reaching for the tiara currently sitting on Twilight's head.

[no_vampires_plz]

Twilight ducks out of his grasp and backs away, one hoof firmly clamping the Element of Magic tiara down.

"Hang on to your Elements, girls. It's gonna be a bumpy night."

[needs_fern]

Once everypony is seated around the table, Fluttershy starts to report on her - their, really - progress. "As you all know, Princess Celestia hoped we'd help Discord use his magic for good instead of evil."

At that point she notices that Pinkie Pie has already started eating her mashed potatoes. It occurs to her that a demonstration might be even better than a report. "Pinkie Pie, care for some gravy?" she offers, hoping Discord will pick up on the hint.

[nponyc]

"You bet!" says Pinkie cheerfully through a faceful of mashed potatoes.

[chocolate_reign]

"Allow me!"

The gravy boat springs to sudden life, panting happily as it bounds across the table.

[nponyc]

"Ooh, what a cute little gravy boat you are!" Pinky scratches it affectionately on the... rim. "Yes you are, yes you are..."

Rainbow Dash is less sanguine. "That's one creepy little gravy boat if you ask me."

[needs_fern]

"Oh, come on, Dashie. You're not even giving this a chance."

It's Discord's first real try at friendliness; surely you can forgive a minor mistake or two in how he does it?

[chocolate_reign]

Hear, hear! Besides, just look at how precocious the little thing is as it frisks about and dumps its entire contents into Rainbow's lap.

Um.

"Oops! I, ah heh... Well, I'm so sorry!; Discord offers her a placating grin. Oh, gravy boat, whatever are we going to do with you?

[nponyc]

Nothing livens up a dinner party like steaming hot gravy poured on your crotch.

"Hey! That's hot!" yelps Rainbow Dash, shooting straight up into the air and hovering there. She glares at Discord. "He did that on purpose!"

[chocolate_reign]

"Oh, well, I don't know about that," hazards Discord, "mistakes happen." The little scamp is only a piece of crockery after all.

Besides, it looks like the floor show has arrived!

"Oh, look everypony, dancing candles!"

[nponyc]

They tell jokes, they do tricks with their fellow candlesticks, and it's all in perfect taste, that you can bet!

...or so one assumes. We may never know, because the candles stop moving the moment Rainbow Dash blows them out.

"I'm not falling for that. Discord's just trying to distract us from--"

[chocolate_reign]

Why, would you look at that! It appears that the candles have risen off the table of their own accord and have begun to attack Rainbow Dash! Good gracious!

[nponyc]

"Wh--? Ow! Hey! Knock it off!" Rainbow Dash tries to fend off the attacking candlesticks, without much success. "I suppose that's another 'mistake'?"

[chocolate_reign]

"No, I think you just made them mad..."

[no_vampires_plz]

Twilight quirks an eyebrow. "There's something fishy going on..."

As if on cue, the blowfish-shaped soup tureen hops forward and spits tomato soup in her face.

[needs_fern]

Okay, no, that's definitely not friendly. "Discord...?"

[chocolate_reign]

"Well, it's hardly my fault if the soup tureen finds the term 'something fishy' to be offensive."

On the table the tureen pivots on its base, angling towards Rarity.

[nponyc]

"Not the dress NOT THE DRESS--!"

But Rarity's pleas are to no avail.

[sunshine_celerystalks]

"That tureen's only doin' what you're makin' it do," Applejack accuses as she tries to block another spurt of soup.

[needs_fern]

"Now, let's not jump to any conclusions."

This really isn't how Fluttershy imagined this dinner would go.

[chocolate_reign]

Behind her Discord snickers silently in to his paws before shrugging helplessly as her eyes fall on him.

[nponyc]

"Fluttershy, can't you see what he's doing? He's playing innocent with you so you'll never agree to use the Elements of Harmony against him!"

Rainbow Dash finally manages to get the candles to back off. Unfortunately, that gives the tureen an opening to attack.

[chocolate_reign]

"Well, that's a bit harsh, isn't it?" he protests.

[nponyc]

It takes a bit of maneuvering, but Dash manages to capture the tureen under a domed tray cover, standing on top to weight it down. "You see what I'm saying, right Fluttershy?" she says, giving the other pegasus a look that is half accusing and half pleading. "Fluttershy??"

[needs_fern]

After a moment of internal struggle, Fluttershy answers, "You know what I see? I see that Discord's far from perfect. But I also see none of you giving him a chance!"

[nponyc]

This is met with howls of protest from the rest of the dinner guests.

"What's gotten in to you?" says Dash. "Why do you keep cutting him so much slack?"

[needs_fern]

Really, Rainbow Dash? You have to ask that? Fluttershy puts a hoof around Discord.

"Because that's what friends do."

[chocolate_reign]

Discord goes completely still. His eyes have grown very wide.











"... We're friends?"

He tentatively raises a talon to indicate the two of them.

[needs_fern]

"Why, of course! I can't remember my house ever being this lively before you came along!"

[chocolate_reign]

This-




This wasn't-



"Oh... Well, I've never really... had a friend before..."





What is this?!

[needs_fern]

"Well, now you do." And isn't it wonderful?

This touching moment is interrupted by Angel, who comes in by the window and starts squealing and waving his arms.

"Now is not a good time, Angel," Fluttershy scolds him. "We're having a dinner party."

[sunshine_celerystalks]

"Hold up!" calls Applejack. "I think he's tryin' to tell us somethin'!"

What exactly that message might be is unclear, though. He pours a glass of water over his head and flops for a moment. When that garners no response, he pulls an apple out of the table's fruit bowl.

[nponyc]

Ooh, charades!

"'Apple'!" the assembled ponies chorus.

[needs_fern]

No, that's not quite right. Still holding the apple, Angel points at Applejack.

[nponyc]

"'Apple Jack'!"

[needs_fern]

No, no! The rabbit facepaws, then goes to get more props. He pushes a pitcher of sweet tea into the middle of the table, and then tosses the apple into it.

[nponyc]

Sweet tea and an apple... sweet tea... apple... sweet... apple...

"Ooh, ooh!" says Rarity. "'Sweet Apple Acres'?"

[needs_fern]

You got it, Rarity! Angel hops up and down, grinning. Now, how to convey the rest of it...?

[nponyc]

No need. Rainbow Dash looks at the spilled water glass and pieces it all together.

"'Flooding at Sweet Apple Acres'! And we all know who's behind that, now, don't we?"

[chocolate_reign]

While the arrival of the miserable little fleabag is far from welcome, at least Angel has managed to clear Discord's head of... whatever that was.


Ugh.


"Who, me?" he gasps. A halo materializes over his horns.

[nponyc]

The other ponies are already filing out the door.

"Oh, give it a rest!" sneers Rainbow Dash over her shoulder as she leaves. "What do you think of your 'friend' now, Fluttershy?"

[needs_fern]

This isn't what Fluttershy wished for. The dinner party was supposed to go smoothly, and show everypony how much better Discord was doing, but it's ended up with yelling and disasters. Fluttershy sadly looks from her pony friends to Discord.

[chocolate_reign]

Oh, this is absolutely, priceless! By now those rodents will have wreaked so much havoc that the entire orchard...

Why is she looking at him like that?






Why does it matter?